A life in Jeopardy!
by Alan Smithee
Summary: A thing done in class makes Harry try to change his ways.


"A Life in Jeopardy."  
  
Do it...  
  
Come on, Just do it, man...  
  
Oh, yeah. Easier said than done. I mean, come on...how can you do it when a negative answer will make you feel like a Dementor just gave you a long, deep soul kiss?   
  
Come on....be conservative...   
  
Oh, yeah...sure... Why did this have to happen...It was just...this afternoon... flashback...now!  
  
  
( ::"Okay, class... Today I want to check how well you know your stuff, so we've come up with a form of Jeopardy. Class, pick your teams..." Snape. Oh, great choice for this class...  
"Dibs on Hermione! HA! You're going down, my friend!" Okay, Ron...  
"Hey, I deserve her help, man!" Yeah, Ron. Give Neville some chance to win.  
"Well, it looks like we have a three-way team. Do you and Malfoy want on just one, Potter?"   
"Well, it doesn't matter! Put me with Neville, first-year, I'm the whole fucking show! Hell, you could put me with the dumbest, ugliest, most ill-fit for walking the planet person as my teammate....Oh, wait, you ARE putting me with Malfoy..."  
"SLANDER! I want a solo!"  
"You've got it. Let's go to the board..." YES! I should get this...  
  
"For 500: While Muggles believe this in every potion made, this is only good to make a potion to curse people to swell up with hot air..."  
"What is Eye of Newt?" I said.  
"Correct...  
  
"This makes any human being go into a near-fatal sleep when used..."  
"What is Essence of Snape's classes?"   
"Correct, Potter. Did you actually study?"  
  
"This is a horrid thing to use in..."  
"What is Anything of Regis Philbin?"  
"Correct..."  
  
"Hey, he's doing too...well! We need to stop Potter..."  
"Um, as a form of concurment for my colleagues, I'd like to request to join their team to help stop Potter..." Malfoy, you dirty little bitch!  
"Okay. It's a go..."  
"Okay, let's kick some ass..."  
  
"Well, we're up to Final Jeopardy...Harry has...12000, Everyone else...8000. And the question..."Yes,I'm gonna win...I'm gonna win...  
  
"And the answer by Everyone else...What is 'Hagrid, your average potion, and Tiger Woods?' Correct, and you bet....all of it, so it's 16000...Harry...you had the same, so you bet...3000, and that brings...What? They won?"   
  
"YEAH! WOO! PING!" What? WHAT? I'm supposed to win! I'm the main character, dammit! NOOOOOOOO.....  
  
"Mommy? Can I wear the jammies with the feet? They're so comfy...." Whoa...I didn't remember saying that...  
"Harry....Get back to class..."  
"Classes aren't necessary for SELPHIE as long as I stay so pretty...."I was fucked up bad that time...  
"Harry...I don't buy that you're catatonic...Snap out of it..."  
"Wha...what happened?"  
"Usual. You went catatonic, passed out. Been like that for an hour, actually."  
"I...I don't understand it...I had it won..."  
"You just need to learn something more to have this. It'll actually work in all situations: BE LESS CONSERVATIVE. Being conservative has ruined greater minds than yours who were unable to think of anything to shake up the status quo when it was totally necessary. Take more high-risks. You should know all about that already..."  
"Yes, but those were necessities to stay alive..."   
"EXACTLY. Think about everything like Voldemort's going to end your life tomorrow, and just do whatever you would think you'd hate that you didn't do while alive on each day...":: )  
  
Okay, very good flashback...Let's see...I've, um...Damn, I'm sheltered. What would Muggles do if they wanted to live it up? Probably something involving narcotics, alcohol, and adult materials...DAMMIT! There's only one thing I'd want to do, but I can't manage to get up the nerve to do so unless I do something to warm me up!  
  
Ah, just do it.   
  
Are you going to let a game rule your life?  
  
Are you the game, or just a wannabee player?  
  
Eh, just do it. Come up with some end, be it happy or sad.   
  
::Ah, luckily CellMax has a deal with Hogwarts where it's usable inside school grounds...::  
  
Just do it.   
  
::*ring*::  
  
"Hello...?"  
"Yeah, is Cho home?"  
"No, I think she's working."  
"Tell her...Harry called, all right?"  
"Okay. Catch ya."   
  
  



End file.
